At The Bus Stop In Samoa 2 - with Jack and Jake

Written by Pio Sioa
Sunday, 16 December 2007
Jack : Jake my mate! What are you doing hanging out at the bus stop today? Aren’t you supposed to be ‘kua.” Jake : This is a bus stop for everyone, not just for you and your stuck up lot in Apia, Jack. Besides I’m here to check out Monday’s health walk to Mulinu’u. Jack : Ahhh..so Stui’s gospel has touched your heart! No wonder blinds fall into the ditch. Jake : We’re not blind Jack! Jack : In the mind you are..yes siree Bob. You kuabacks are listen and do people. You jump without looking at the pile you land on. Jake : Do you mean the pile that you swim in now? Jack: The pile where your ignorance has condemned you to a lifetime of hand me outs from the rellies in NZ and Australia. As for what the PM is saying, that is a mark of a person worried about this protest march. The people are against his ‘wrong side’ policy and are showing it. Why would someone slip behind his car and put a ‘Say No To Right Hand Drive’ sticker on it? Jake : You did it didn’t you? Jack : We are a democratic society and we are free to stick to our opinion, it’s called freedom of expression. Jake : But you’re supposed to stand up like and man and express that freedom, not sneak behind the PM’s behind and paste a protest sticker on it. Jack : Correction Jake – it was stuck behind his car not his behind. Jake : Same difference. The operative word here is behind meaning backside or bum. Jack : Which thesaurus did you pick that up from? You are such a disappointment Jake. You allowed your brains to deteriorate by going bush. I hope you’re not one of those people that has suddenly changed to sleeping on the left hand side of your wife so you can adjust to driving on the wrong side of the road. Jake : Well if that is the case then you know and I know that new trends start from Apia and slowly work their way out to us in the villages. If there are any changes in the sleeping arrangements, then it is coming from people like you Jack. Jack: But if we’re the ones who’s protesting the left hand side why would we have to push the woman to sleep on the right? By the way Jake are you still sleeping with your wife? Jake: Of course I am and yourself? Jack : We are but we’re sleeping in different beds because I snore. She gets the sofa and I get the double mattress. Jake : What if there was an earthquake like that 6.5 on the Richter Scale last week? Do you run to each other? Jack : Why run to the woman, unless you want her to lie on you so if anything falls it lands on her. The basic drill is to either duck under a table, stand in the doorway or run outside into open space. Jake : So did you do any of that when the earthquake shook? Jack : Why? No point in standing in the doorway if it’s your time to go. We all kick the bucket some time and if its your time Jack why run- no way you can duck the bucket my friend. Maybe your bucket is waiting for Government to switch to the wrong side of the road. Jake: Do you know that the Head of State will be making a presentation to Parliament after the protest march? I think that’s interesting? Jack : What’s interesting about fattening the politicians with all that food and expensive fine mats His Highness is obligated by tradition to give away? You know Jake, what I can’t stomach is the way our culture encourages handouts especially to unproductive people like you in the villages. Jake : Hey man, there you go running that poor folks rap on us village folks again. Those fine mats and cows his Highness is giving to Parliament came from us in the villages. So put a sock in it next time you think we survive on handouts. Jack : Darn it my bus is here! Listen Jake you can’t deny that you people thrive on funerals, bestowal of matai titles, weddings and milking the pockets of us town folks when we do visit. I bet your family will be getting a leg of beef from your MP as his share of the gift to Parliament by His Highness. In my book that’s a handout. Supposing you don’t get anything you will probably run to His Highness for some money to help you out, because your family contributed with the fine mats. In my book that is blackmail. Jake : But Jack that is the culture. What you’re on about is an accepted part of the culture where the chief looks after the needs of the family. If His Highness is the head chief in our family that’s what he should look out for. Jack : So I suppose if you ask me for a bus fare and I give you the money do you call that culture because I’m looking out for your needs? Jake : No! I’d say it’s your way of saying sorry for shooting your mouth off about the culture you’re scared to face because you are a self centered, individualistic, cultureless castaway floating about at the bus stop in Apia. Jack : Whatever! See ya Jake! Don’t gag on your hand out leg of beef from the MP when you have your Sunday to’ana’i. Comments (0) Subscribe to this comment's feed Write comment Name Email Title Comment
Last Updated ( Monday, 17 December 2007 )

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