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Old Dogs, New Tricks and the Fiddle Factor! |
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Written by Seuamuli Des Bentin
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Tuesday, 13 November 2007 |
I really don’t know why I am still friends with Lau the Figures and Percentages Man! Every time he turns up at my tiny shop at some ungodly hour, to help me reduce the stress loading on my beer cooler, he ends up calling me something quite unflattering. I am emotionally scarred for life from the last time when he accused me of being “kaea kele”! And I do not believe that there is an ounce of truth in my son Dylan’s theory that I perhaps hang on to any friends I have because there aren’t that many of them! He can be an unkind boy at times.
But seriously, a few nights ago, Lau told me that I was an underemployed old dog. Actually, first of all, he reckoned I was one of about thirty-something underemployed people he knew of (Who can argue with somebody who collected such information?) and explained it to mean that I was too qualified to be a shop keeper. Then just as it dawned on me that he had just called me an intelligent swine, (sincere apologies to all shopkeepers), and was basking in the glory of it all, he compared me to an old dog that could not be taught new tricks! Talk about the carpet or papa laufala getting jerked out from underneath your feet. Because I am a rather sensitive new age guy thoroughly accepting of everyone’s right to an opinion but also keenly conscious of the cut of criticism, I was all fired up to defend all old dogs and their right of refusal. But the hour was late and I really just wanted to get rid of him. So I did not tell him of how I had just paid, what for me is a lot of money, to learn about something I thought I already knew about. It does sound a bit silly does it not?
I tend to think that as soon as somebody begins a statement by saying “Honestly….” I think that they are lying or going to say something that is not quite the truth. But I can promise you that if you gave me a book of words and some pictures (commonly known as Installation, Operation and Maintenance Manuals) I can install, operate and maintain anything electrical or electronic. A factual statement on my part (repeat something to yourself often enough and you will believe it to be true and then hock it off as fact when nobody is looking) but you can think whatever you like! No one, not even my friend Lau, has accused me of being an immodest imbecile yet! So when I paid a lot of money to take part in a Traffic Signals Maintenance Training Course organized by the Ministry of Works Transport and Infrastructure last week, I did not think that it had anything to do with an old dog being taught, or trying to learn, new tricks. I wanted to see if there was any way I could be of assistance to whoever was responsible for the maintenance of our growing number of traffic lights. For a small fee of course.
And I was not wrong. The electronics involved in a set of traffic lights controlling traffic movement at any of our busy intersections is pretty basic really. No new tricks for this old dog to learn. It is the part where human input is involved whether it is in the design, installation and maintenance or even just deciding whether traffic lights are warranted for an intersection where the fiddle factor in its myriad of forms could complicate things and turn a useful tool into a pain in the neck for users or operators. And I really wasn’t surprised when we opened up one of the ‘problem intersection’ Controller boxes and was confronted by an embarrassing example of a total lack of pride in ones workmanship.
Later that night, I found myself looking for excuses for the Installation Contractor who did that job. Maybe they just did not have the experience to carry out the equipment installation to international standards. How did they get the contract in the first place? And if they had installation drawings to work from, then there was no excuse for the unacceptable state of the installation. But the Contracts Supervisor accepted the installation as completed to requirements. As one of the Course Instructors put it, jokingly I think, the Contracts Supervisor approves progress payments and project completion, so you as the Contractor have to be nice to him and maybe give him a few beers to make things easier for you! Perhaps the biggest contributor to the unavoidable human introduced fiddle factor?
But why would you want to change your Maintenance Contractor? Perhaps you decided that the same job could be done for less than what your current contractor is charging. Or a competing company convinced you that they could do the same job for less. Or maybe you are not satisfied with the current contractor’s knowledge of the equipment and performance of their duties. Getting a good contractor who meets all your requirements and criteria for selection may have an element of luck involved in it and you would hope that you get it right first time. Calculating Intersection Capacity when designing your traffic control system may not be an exact science but maintenance of your traffic lights for proper operation where public safety is involved cannot be left to chance and the fiddle factor.
I have no idea why they changed our Rubbish Collection Contractor but the new guys are taking a while to settle in. I am still playing “Guess what day the rubbish collection contractors will be coming” with them. Was their bid cheaper than the original guys? It would probably explain why they are not coming around as frequently and regularly as the other guys. How does the Contracts Supervisor monitor their performance? Do we just leave it to that saying “E fai fai a lelei?” I hope not. Have a nice one folks!
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