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The Attraction Was Purely Physical! |
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Written by Seuamuli Des Bentin
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Tuesday, 27 May 2008 |
I must look intelligent to some people, or they – and this is the more probable reason – most probably think that since I spend so much time in my tiny shop doing nothing, I must know something about matters of great importance like why the Samoa Breweries Limited have not had their favorite brew in the red/brown bottle for a while now, how Robbie Deans could lift the Crusaders to beat the Hurricanes with ease after last week’s loss to the Highlanders while Upolu Samoa could not maintain their passion and record after two straight wins from two over the Tautahi Gold from Tonga, or at least explain the meaning of life in less than two words!
Beer! No, that is not my one word explanation of the meaning of life, but its close! I have always thought that Vailima beer was Vailima beer whether it was in a big red bottle, in a little or big green bottle or in a beaker from the lab. But such is not the case to the educated palates out here which insist that the beer tastes different in the green bottle and would travel to every shop between here and there in search of Vailima beer in the red bottle. After a fruitless two hours and as many gallons of petrol, they usually end up back at my shop demanding to know why SBL did not have beer in their favorite large red bottle anymore. There are now guys out there satisfied with the two different versions of the green bottle explanation which I considered my duty to fabricate for them!
It’s all to do with psychology. More beer drinkers preferred the product in the red bottle which meant that the green bottle stocks were piling up at the SBL bottle yard. Something had to be done to dispel the notion that the beer in the green bottle had a sharper bitter aftertaste compared to the smoother taste of the beer from the red bottle. Solution, hold all red bottles for a couple of months and run green bottles only until everybody had become accustomed to it and couldn’t taste this imaginary difference. It would also make better economic sense to use the same color bottle for both export and local consumption.
Most punters do not like this explanation because they do not like the idea of someone playing with their minds, so I had to come up with one that they all liked. “Someone at the Samoa Breweries Limited over ordered a shipment of green bottles and they are just trying to run them first until they are back to normal levels and then you will see your beloved Vailima in the red bottles again. By the way, I think they fired the guy who made the order,” I would say. They really like that version. There is something satisfying about someone suffering or being made accountable for the red bottle beer drinker’s loss and discomfort.
I have to make a confession here that I have found out beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am a member of your average fickle, disloyal group of punters commonly known as “the public”. I went station hopping on the radio a couple of weeks ago and locked on to Radio Australia. Best thing I’ve ever done in more than many years. Problem was how to listen to these guys and still catch the absolute music variety from young Ben and Tricky of our own Star 96 FM at the same time. I didn’t even toss a coin to choose my now preferred station. But I don’t think there was anything slut-like or casual in the way I found myself locked in to the Radio Australia frequency with its “Breakfast Club”, “In the Loop” and “Macca On Sunday Morning” programs being so up to date, informative and entertaining.
I would never have had the pleasure of listening to the Malcolm Keller Smith, Governor of the Eastern Highlands Province of Papua New Guinea interview, where he told the UN representatives, foreign aid donors and consultants with their “bullsh*t bags” to do something practical like build better roads for the highlands that will be much more useful than holding conferences and meetings that benefit the hotels and not much else. It was brilliant! I have heard someone here with the same sort of views and very direct and honest delivery, but I don’t know how long the head of the new Electric Power Corporation Project Management Unit, David Jarvie, who refers to himself as “this hooligan”, will resist for before he is “Samoanized”!
What was on Radio Australia about Samoa was not very complimentary and, from what has been written in the local media, not entirely true and factual. But it doesn’t take too much brain matter to work out that twelve cases of typhoid a day as the WHO report claims would mean a rampant epidemic would be currently sweeping across the islands of Samoa. I think our heads of departments such as the Samoa Water Authority, National Health and Ministry of Health should learn how not to come across as being defensive when asked about what they know are inaccurate reports by those who could have a vested interest in such a report being written.
On the up-side, there was an “In The Loop” interview of a Samoan singer living in Australia whose last name I couldn’t quite get because of the presenters French accent. But Kylie sounded like a marvelous person with a typically Samoan sense of humor and a nice voice. Like I said, the attraction was purely aural! Have a nice one folks!
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